"You wrote down all of these things to say goodbye to, but so many of them are good things. Why not just say goodbye to the bad things? Say goodbye to all the times you felt lost, to all of the times it was a 'no' instead of a 'yes,' to all the scrapes and bruises, to all the heartache. Say goodbye to all of the things you really want to do for the last time. But don't go have the last Scotch with Barney--have the first Scotch toasting Barney's new life because that's a good thing, and the good things will always be here waiting for you."
- Lily to Ted, Episode 4, Season 9
Season 9 of How I Met Your Mother so far has been amazing. Legendary, if you will. If you don't know what show this is, go look it up. The first 8 seasons are on Netflix. Season 9 is the final season, and so this is my tribute to the beautiful thing that is HIMYM.
How I Met Your Mother is one of the first TV shows I ever truly loved. My family didn't have cable, which meant no Nickelodeon or the Disney Channel, which played all day long. My brother and I grew up with syndicated comedies, and our world came alive at 7 PM Mountain Time Zone, 6/7central. We devoured any show that came on during prime time on NBC, CBS, and ABC, and our schedules might as well have been the TV Guide, because our weeks were defined by which of our favorite shows was on that night (yes, after homework and extracurriculars, Mom). My brother and I curled up most evenings on our darkly flowered sofa--our favorite lamp lit low for ambiance--and together, we discovered something. Those who don't understand television will call it many things. But we called it magic.
It wasn't long before we understood the difference between a good TV show and everything else. It was How I Met Your Mother that made us picky; showing us what a good show could be--entrancing, hopeful, beautiful, meaningful, intelligent, and clever. Unfortunately, it also forced us to realize how easy it was to fall short of that rare standard. I will say this: a bad television show is just...so... bad. So we set our standards higher, looking for those shows that truly captured us, that made us want to jump inside the television set and live with the characters and their delightful shenanigans. In many ways we already knew exactly which shows those were.
How I Met Your Mother was our holy grail. It was unstoppably hilarious. We spent our Monday nights grinning whenever Barney said "bromigo" or "Brosef Stalin" while referencing the Bro Code, laughing at his trademark "legen...wait for it... dary!" I loved when they made fun of Robin for being Canadian (because really, what else can you do with Canadians), and Lily and Marshall were adorably nauseating. We appreciated them for that, and could not help but gasp in horror whenever they fought.
When Season 9 is over and gone, however, (and after I've sob-watched every episode all over again), it is Ted who I will remember most fondly. That's kind of the point, isn't it? He is the main character, after all, and the show is all about telling his kids, "how I met your mother." But I appreciate Ted for so many reasons other than that, and it is all credited to the incredible writing and directing of the show.
I will never be able to forget how my heart wrenched when Victoria got on the bus. Twice. When Stella left him with nothing but a note on their wedding day. When Robin, crying, told him that she would never love him like he loved her. It's these moments that flash in the background as Lily says the above quote in episode 4, when she urges him to say goodbye to "all of the times it was a 'no' instead of a 'yes.'"
It's what we all have to do at some point, but it's so glaringly obvious that we forget it every time.
When we choose to say goodbye, for some reason, we start by saying goodbye to the things we love and the things we'll miss the most. That just doesn't make sense. When we say goodbye, oftentimes we mistake it for forgetting, thinking that it means we must forget the happiness of the past in order to be happy in the future.
Sometimes goodbye is for good, it's true, and there are people we will never see again and places that won't ever be the same. But, a disproportionate amount of the time, we say goodbye to things when we don't have to, and we say goodbye to the good things. Instead, we have to know as Lily tells us, that "the good things will always be here waiting." We should take the opportunity instead to say goodbye to the heartache and the sadness and all of the bad. Those are the things that deserve goodbyes.
I love Ted most for saying, "If you're not scared, you're not taking a chance. If you're not taking a chance, then what the hell are you doing?"
Demonstrated by that quote, to me, HIMYM was ultimately about one thing; indomitable hope. I will never forget, that despite rejection after rejection and a life of unrequited love, Ted held on. Sometimes it was nothing but a threadbare glimpse of hope, but it was hope nonetheless. And now, after eight years, we know who the Mother is, (and boy does she have a lot to live up to) and that Ted will end up, not where he thought he would be, but where he will be happiest. It is a show that shows us not only how important it is to find love, but how important it is not to. We have to take chances and we have to fail, but if we're lucky enough, we get to say goodbye to those failures when finally we succeed.
I dread saying goodbye to HIMYM this year. It will be like the death of someone real, and the coping will be somewhat the same. I think people all over the world will feel the same way.
I already had to say goodbye to Monday nights of HIMYM. I had to say goodbye to nights of TV-bonding with my brother when I said goodbye to him this fall before leaving for college.
But it's not really goodbye. That couch is still there and so is he, and still will be, long after season 9 has ended.
My goodbyes will be saved, from now on, for the things I really, truly want to do for the last time.
All of the good stuff will always be here waiting.
When Season 9 is over and gone, however, (and after I've sob-watched every episode all over again), it is Ted who I will remember most fondly. That's kind of the point, isn't it? He is the main character, after all, and the show is all about telling his kids, "how I met your mother." But I appreciate Ted for so many reasons other than that, and it is all credited to the incredible writing and directing of the show.
I will never be able to forget how my heart wrenched when Victoria got on the bus. Twice. When Stella left him with nothing but a note on their wedding day. When Robin, crying, told him that she would never love him like he loved her. It's these moments that flash in the background as Lily says the above quote in episode 4, when she urges him to say goodbye to "all of the times it was a 'no' instead of a 'yes.'"
It's what we all have to do at some point, but it's so glaringly obvious that we forget it every time.
When we choose to say goodbye, for some reason, we start by saying goodbye to the things we love and the things we'll miss the most. That just doesn't make sense. When we say goodbye, oftentimes we mistake it for forgetting, thinking that it means we must forget the happiness of the past in order to be happy in the future.
Sometimes goodbye is for good, it's true, and there are people we will never see again and places that won't ever be the same. But, a disproportionate amount of the time, we say goodbye to things when we don't have to, and we say goodbye to the good things. Instead, we have to know as Lily tells us, that "the good things will always be here waiting." We should take the opportunity instead to say goodbye to the heartache and the sadness and all of the bad. Those are the things that deserve goodbyes.
I love Ted most for saying, "If you're not scared, you're not taking a chance. If you're not taking a chance, then what the hell are you doing?"
Demonstrated by that quote, to me, HIMYM was ultimately about one thing; indomitable hope. I will never forget, that despite rejection after rejection and a life of unrequited love, Ted held on. Sometimes it was nothing but a threadbare glimpse of hope, but it was hope nonetheless. And now, after eight years, we know who the Mother is, (and boy does she have a lot to live up to) and that Ted will end up, not where he thought he would be, but where he will be happiest. It is a show that shows us not only how important it is to find love, but how important it is not to. We have to take chances and we have to fail, but if we're lucky enough, we get to say goodbye to those failures when finally we succeed.
I dread saying goodbye to HIMYM this year. It will be like the death of someone real, and the coping will be somewhat the same. I think people all over the world will feel the same way.
I already had to say goodbye to Monday nights of HIMYM. I had to say goodbye to nights of TV-bonding with my brother when I said goodbye to him this fall before leaving for college.
But it's not really goodbye. That couch is still there and so is he, and still will be, long after season 9 has ended.
My goodbyes will be saved, from now on, for the things I really, truly want to do for the last time.
All of the good stuff will always be here waiting.
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